


Loving You Recklessly

by GravityJihun



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: College AU, Death, HyungWonho - Freeform, I'm so sorry, M/M, Relationship(s), pls dont kill me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-16 04:25:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11821194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GravityJihun/pseuds/GravityJihun
Summary: Hoseok was reckless until Hyungwon stepped into his life





	1. Chapter 1

The pair sat against the couch in their rundown apartment; the smaller of the two snuggled into the taller, a cigarette sitting loosely between his fingertips and his free hand absent-mindlessly playing wit the couple bracelets on both his and his boyfriends wrists. The static television and the rain leaking in through the windows didn't bother them, they just sat enjoying each others company. Hyungwon was content with this lifestyle, both boys held a stable job but on days off like this it was nice to relax even if Hyungwon had college to attend in the afternoon.

Before Hoseok met Hyungwon he was in and out of schools, being expelled for doing reckless things. He always knew he’d die young, why not have some fun in his short life. Drink driving, parties, random hookups and drugs were all apart of his lifestyle since he was a teenager yet when he met Hyungwon everything slowed down.

Hyungwon was just the quiet weird boy who by chance was paired with Hoseok for a school project. For anyone else he would of ditched the project but with Hyungwon he was different, from the very first moment they spoke Hoseok knew this project would be different. 

The boys spent the first week of their project getting to know each other, not caring much for the project. The second week was the same with a little work mixed in and the final week concluded with them scrambling to get it finished; it was also the week when Hoseok kissed Hyungwon for the first time.

_”I’m sorry that was reckless of me,” Hoseok says stumbling over his words, pushing his chair back from the desk. ;_

_“You are a very reckless person,” Hyungwon shyly smiles looking down, refusing to look at the boy._

_“I’m going to die young, may as well live it recklessly kissing cute boys,” Hoseok says, mentally slapping himself for being flirty, “I’m sorry, I don’t usually flirt this much.”_

_“You are lucky you have good looks,” Hyungwon laughs turning to look at him._

_“Hey what is that supposed to mean!”_

The project was a start of a new relationship, an unknown territory to the boys however it would take another year until the boys finally start to date; in the midst of all preparations for what they were doing after school, the boys finally realised their love.

_”Stop stressing, you’ve got this sorted. You’ll pass the exam,” Hoseok says laying smoking on Hyungwon’s bed as the younger attempted to study._

_“Easy for you too say, you don’t plan on going to college. Why wont this get stuck in my head,” Hyungwon groans banging his head onto the book, “Get. Into. My. Head.” Hoseok jumps up off the bed and removes the book from the desk causing Hyungwon to hit his head on the hard surface. Hyungwon glares at Hoseok but Hoseok just smiles the gummiest smile possible at him._

_“Date me,” Hoseok says simply before taking a drag of his cigarette._

_“No thanks. That would cause more stress on me, give my book back,” Hyungwon sighs holding out his hand for the book._

_“You dare say no to this cutie?” Hoseok pouts before discarding the butt of the cigarette out of the window._

_“I say no for the fact that you nearly kill yourself every week and I can’t deal with that,” Hyungwon says snatching the book back._

_“For you I’ll stop being so reckless. No more parties and no more drugs. I’ll work hard for you,” Hoseok promises. He doesn’t lie, Hyungwon was worth slowing down for.  
“Really?” Hyungwon says almost not believing what was coming out of the elders mouth._

_“The only reckless thing I’ll do is love you. I promise.”_

 

Hoseok stayed true to his promise, even when he didn’t see Hyungwon everyday once school finished. While the other attended college, Hoseok worked hard to buy his own apartment. It wasn’t perfect but it was perfect to come home to. Laying against Hyungwon, Hoseok can’t help but remember when he asked Hyungwon to move in. The circumstances were sad but the moment provided the perfect opportunity for Hoseok to ask.

_”I swear if someone is waking me up because of my motorbike again,” Hoseok grumbles to himself walking to his front door. Sleepily opening the door Hoseok wished he put a shirt on when he opened the door, the cold wind making him shiver all over but it wasn't the wind that woke him up. Seeing his boyfriend in tears and a small bag next to him was the cause. Ushering the boy inside, Hoseok quickly closes the door and leads Hyungwon to the couch. Hoseok scrambles around the house; putting on his jumper and gathering blankets for the shivering mess on the couch, wrapping them tightly around his boyfriend. Crouching in front of Hyungwon, Hoseok takes his hands._

_“What happened?” he whispers gently, concern written all over his face._

_“Mum. She. Found. Out,” Hyungwon hiccups through the short sentence, “She kicked me out,” he looks at Hoseok, tears dripping down his face. Hoseok felt his heart break over and over, tears forming in his own eyes. “I know it’s late, I’m sorry.” Hoseok didn’t care that it was inching close to 1am, he only cared for Hyungwon._

_“Hey, don’t cry. I’m glad you came here,” Hoseok goes to sit on the couch, pulling Hyungwon into a hug, letting the tall boy cry into him._

_It was nearly 2am when Hyungwon had finally calmed down and decided to shower. Hoseok went and tried to find clothes that would fit Hyungwon, settling on track pants the younger had left and a jumper. No words were spoken until the next morning, Hoseok just let the boy sleep in his arms, safe._

 

“What are you thinking?” Hyungwon says kissing Hoseok’s cheek snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Nothing baby don’t worry,” Hoseok says turning around and kissing the boy lightly on the lips. Hyungwon pulls away and looks at him in concern. Hoseok smiles and shakes his head going in for another kiss only to be blocked by the younger moving away. 

“Since you won’t tell me what you are thinking, can I ask you something?” Hyungwon asks. Hoseok nods standing up, taking the last few drags of his cigarette. “When you first kiss me you said you were going to die young. What did you mean?” Hoseok puts the butt of his cigarette in the bowl and goes to sit in front Hyungwon, cross legged.

“It’s just a feeling I used to have. I couldn’t see a future and then I met you,” Hoseok says quietly.

“Is that the truth?” Hyungwon questions the younger one. Hoseok kisses the younger one like his life depended on it, _he didn't have to know he still held the same feeling deep down._ “I’m going to get ready for school, Kihyun’s picking me up soon.”

 

“I’ll pick you up, take your umbrella and wait for me at the usual spot okay?” Hoseok says walking Hyungwon to the door.

“Stop worrying,” Hyungwon says putting his hands on his boyfriend’s cheeks and squishing them before kissing him. Hoseok puts his hands around Hyungwon’s neck and deepens the kiss, the two only pulling away when Kihyun bangs on the door. “I love you so much. Be safe,” Hyungwon says kissing Hoseok again quickly before opening the door.

“I love you too, don’t do anything reckless.”

“I’m not you,” Hyungwon laughs before kissing Hoseok once more.

“Can you two idiots hurry up? You are acting like you are never seeing each other again,” Kihyun groans almost pulling Hyungwon away. Hoseok just laughs and closes the door on the now bickering pair.

 

Hoseok tapped his finger on the wheel along to the beat of whatever song was playing on the radio waiting for the train to pass by so he could cross, his mind wondering, his phone ringing being the only thing snapping him out of his thoughts. Seeing Hyungwon’s smile flash up on the screen made him smile instantly. Leaning over he answers and puts it on speaker.

“Where are you? It’s about to rain,” Hyungwon whines.

“Well hello to you too baby,” Hoseok laughs, ”I’m five minutes away don’t worry.”

“I’m worrying though, my hair is going to get wet.”

“Your hair is more important than your books?” 

“Yes, I’m dropping out and becoming a stripper therefore I need nice hair and not books,” Hyungwon says sarcastically.

“Hey! You are my stripper only, keep studying,” Hoseok jokes back, “I’ve got to go babe the light is turning green. I love you,”

“I love you too and hurry up please,” Hyungwon begs.

“Five minutes promise,” Hoseok says but Hyungwon had already hung up. 

 

Driving over the track proved a difficult task, especially when his car liked to stop halfway across. Cursing to himself, Hoseok goes to take off his seatbelt, refusing to budge from his lock. Hoseok knew he had a a time limit, a limit that was rapidly reaching the end. Hearing the train horn in the distance Hoseok frantically tried to escape his seat. _Why did he have to buy an old car. Why was there no one around. Why is this happening now. Is Hyungwon worrying?_ Thoughts raced around his head, he thought he’d be fine dying young but how can he when he has someone he recklessly loves, someone who he didn't deserve.

 

Hyungwon waited and waited. The rain poured down around him, it had been a hour where was Hoseok. Sighing Hyungwon opened the umbrella and began to walk back home, _He probably got caught up_. Walking towards the crossroad cars piled up but Hyungwon took no notice, no notice until he saw the whole emergency. Unconsciously Hyungwon stops and watches as firefighters and paramedics cut someone out of the wreck of a car that lay crushed down the tracks. Slowly walking through the crowd that had gathered Hyungwon watches as paramedics now cover the person and place him on a stretcher. He watches as they wheel them to the ambulance and load him in, not before noticing the bracelet that was sat on the person’s wrist.


	2. Loving You Endlessly

Funeral day came about quickly and Hyungwon stood in their apartment alone. It had been two long weeks since the incident and Hyungwon didn’t know how he was coping. Truthfully he wasn’t; he missed Hoseok’s touch, he missed the smell of mixture smoke and cologne and most us of he missed the feeling of home Hoseok had about him. 

Looking in the mirror Hyungwon looked tired; his eyes were dark and sunken, his hair messy and he looked skinnier than ever. Hyungwon tries to adjust his tie but he couldn’t do it with out Hoseok. 

_”What’s wrong?” Hoseok says walking into their shared bedroom seeing Hyungwon sitting on the bed stressed out._

_“I cant tie it,” Hyungwon says laying back. Hoseok smiles at the younger boy, laughing to himself._

_“Sit up.” Hyungwon obliges and Hoseok sits across from him on the bed, leaning forward , carefully tying Hyungwon’s tie. Hyungwon observes his boyfriend, taking note of how the shorter boy’s lips form a small pout and how his eyebrows creased in concentration so focussed on the task at hand. Hyungwon bended his head slightly and kissed his boyfriends lips. “What was that for?”_

_“You are cute,” Hyungwon says simply, “You can be sexy and cute at the same time, it’s weird.” Hyungwon brushes Hoseok’s now purple hair out of his face, “Are you putting your hair up today?”_

_“Do I need too?”_

_“Yes, we are meeting the directors of your company, this isn't a casual party,” Hyungwon retorts still playing with Hoseok’s hair._

_“Can you do it?” Hoseok asks quietly playing with Hyungwon’s hands._

_“I will,” Hyungwon says moving his face closer to Hoseok._

_“Your eyes are pretty,” Hoseok murmurs smiling at his boyfriend. It was moments like these where the boys felt invincible, only needing each other, addicted like they were a drug._

_“Shut up you idiot,” Hyungwon smiles pulling Hoseok closer, connecting their lips. The kiss was gentle and small at first, but it slowly grows deeper and more intense, never breaking the ever-growing kiss. Hyungwon loved the taste of Hoseok’s kisses, the smokiness he could could taste on his own chapped lips made him hungrier for more. Their breathing grows heavier but they did not care, hands roaming everywhere. They only pull away when their noses bump, giggling to each other, foreheads resting against each other._

_“I think I need to fix your tie.”_

 

Hyungwon didn’t want to go, he didn't want reality to set in, he wanted to press pause. Hyungwon allowed Kihyun and Minhyuk to lead him away from the apartment and into the car. Hyungwon didn’t care for any conversation his friends attempted to make, he just stared out of the window watching the dull world speed pass, allowing his mind to wonder.

_”Hyungwon listen to me it was a mistake,” Hoseok pleads grabbing ahold of Hyungwon’s hand. Hyungwon stops and turns to face his boyfriend. Hoseok looked broken, like he hadn’t slept in days. “Please just come home.”_

_“Hoseok you went out and got yourself nearly killed! How is that a mistake! You said you were going to the gym not out to race and crash your bike!” Hyungwon yells causing the elder to flinch._

_“I’m fine and I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t of lied.”  
“You were reckless as usual,” Hyungwon says sighing and shaking Hoseok’s hand off him, closing the front door. Hoseok was quiet as he watched his boyfriend go into the kitchen and pull out pans. Guilt eating him inside out. _

_“I just wanted to feel alive,” Hoseok whispers walking over._

_“And I don’t?” Hyungwon says plaining taking a ramen packet out of the cupboard. He hated Hoseok being reckless, constantly putting himself in situations and breaking his promise he made only a few years ago._

_“I said that wrong. You keep me sane and alive, I love you so much I hate myself for it” Hoseok says cautiously approaching the younger one, remembering the last time they fought, his head still hurting thinking about it._

_“Stop being reckless please, it hurts me every time you come home with a new cut or bruise. I miss days from school because I worry over you. Stop being reckless Hoseok please I’m begging at this point, we aren’t kids anymore,” Hyungwon almost whispers turning to look at Hoseok._

_“The only reckless thing I’ll do is love you I promise. From today to when I die I’ll love you recklessly and endlessly.”_

 

Hyungwon didn’t know why his mother had turned up to his funeral, it had been years since they talked.

“I know you loved him a lot,” she says sitting next to her son.

“I still do.”

“You’ve got to stay strong for him you know,” she says quietly looking at the pictures of Hoseok on display.

“You disowned me when I told you about him, why do you suddenly care?” Hyungwon says feeling anger growing inside of him.

“When he came to collect your stuff he said some stuff to me,” She says pausing to choose her next words carefully, “and he made me realise things about you I hadn't before. He talked like he knew this was going to happen. He asked me to rekindle with you when I come to my senses, he asked me to stay away if I couldn’t. He loved you a lot.”

“Go away. You don’t have the right to come back when he’s gone. Leave, he wouldn’t of wanted this,” Hyungwon says finally looking his mother in the eyes not caring for the shock upon her face.

“Hyungwon..”

“Leave. You had years to contact me yet you choose when he’s dead and at his funeral. You are sick,” Hyungwon says standing up, “I don’t want you in my life.”

“Hoseok wouldn't of wanted this,” his mother says also standing up trying to keep a calm tone.

“You didn’t know him like I did. You never saw our fights and our late night talks. You never saw your ups and downs. You didn’t want us or me. He may of been reckless at times but never once did he try to hurt me, he just loved me in his own stupid way,” Hyungwon says not realising he’s yelling,tears starting to flow. Kihyun rushes over and pulls him into a hug, staring at his mother until she left.  
“Hey she’s gone, its okay,” Kihyun says trying to comfort the boy. Hyungwon just cries into his friend. After everything they went through, they deserved a happy ending right? How did it end up like this? The reckless boy loving the quiet boy. Hyungwon and Hoseok fit like two pieces of a puzzle, but now the puzzle is broken and so is the boy who fell for the reckless.


End file.
